Comments for bluebirdmama.com http://bluebirdmama.com Sat, 24 Mar 2012 23:14:27 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Comment on Weaning, Fertility and Moving On by bluebirdmama http://bluebirdmama.com/2012/02/weaning-fertility-and-moving-on/comment-page-1/#comment-55546 bluebirdmama Sat, 24 Mar 2012 23:14:27 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=2076#comment-55546 Yes! I know what you mean about the stress on the nuclear family. We too are lacking in the "other committed adults nearby" dept too and in fact, that was a big reason I cried when I first found our we were pregnant with Silas. I really didn't know what another child would do to our marriage. Of course, it's been more than fine...but I think it's good to quit while we're ahead, you know? Age is an issue for us too. I'm 34 and Aaron turns 38 this year. If we were to have another we would want to wait a good while, to recover from the lack of sleep...and well, that puts us in our 40s and we're ready to look forward. I like your idea about borrowing nieces and nephews! But alas! Our kids are the last grandkids on both sides. No chance of sweet newborn goodness in the family anymore. At least not until we become grandparents ourselves. Now if my brain could just send the memo to my ovaries that it's time to close up shop. :) Yes! I know what you mean about the stress on the nuclear family. We too are lacking in the “other committed adults nearby” dept too and in fact, that was a big reason I cried when I first found our we were pregnant with Silas. I really didn’t know what another child would do to our marriage. Of course, it’s been more than fine…but I think it’s good to quit while we’re ahead, you know?

Age is an issue for us too. I’m 34 and Aaron turns 38 this year. If we were to have another we would want to wait a good while, to recover from the lack of sleep…and well, that puts us in our 40s and we’re ready to look forward.

I like your idea about borrowing nieces and nephews! But alas! Our kids are the last grandkids on both sides. No chance of sweet newborn goodness in the family anymore. At least not until we become grandparents ourselves.

Now if my brain could just send the memo to my ovaries that it’s time to close up shop. :)

]]> Comment on Attachment Village by bluebirdmama http://bluebirdmama.com/2012/03/attachment-village/comment-page-1/#comment-55540 bluebirdmama Sat, 24 Mar 2012 22:01:27 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=2089#comment-55540 I highly recommend Hold on to Your Kids. It was paradigm changing for me and I think it should be on the reading list for all Teaching programs. Thanks for reminding me of your podcast. I went back and listened to it and really enjoyed it. Now I have Marcy's book on my To Buy list. I highly recommend Hold on to Your Kids. It was paradigm changing for me and I think it should be on the reading list for all Teaching programs. Thanks for reminding me of your podcast. I went back and listened to it and really enjoyed it. Now I have Marcy’s book on my To Buy list.

]]> Comment on Weaning, Fertility and Moving On by bluebirdmama http://bluebirdmama.com/2012/02/weaning-fertility-and-moving-on/comment-page-1/#comment-55539 bluebirdmama Sat, 24 Mar 2012 22:00:10 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=2076#comment-55539 Thank you. Age is a big part of it for us too. Part of me thinks "I could maybe wrap my mind around 4 kids...in 4-5 years." I worry about that time when Silas is about 5 and maybe it feels like I could have another baby but we can't. Then Aaron reminds me that he would be 42 and says "No way. Maybe if we were younger, I'd consider it." So that's it then. I hope you get some clarity on it Michelle. Thank you.
Age is a big part of it for us too. Part of me thinks “I could maybe wrap my mind around 4 kids…in 4-5 years.” I worry about that time when Silas is about 5 and maybe it feels like I could have another baby but we can’t. Then Aaron reminds me that he would be 42 and says “No way. Maybe if we were younger, I’d consider it.”

So that’s it then.

I hope you get some clarity on it Michelle.

]]> Comment on Weaning, Fertility and Moving On by Michelle @ The Parent Vortex http://bluebirdmama.com/2012/02/weaning-fertility-and-moving-on/comment-page-1/#comment-54371 Michelle @ The Parent Vortex Sun, 18 Mar 2012 05:02:01 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=2076#comment-54371 What a powerful post... I have been trying to work through a lot of thoughts and emotions on this topic over the past year or so. Am I done? Am I not done? There is a big part of me that yearns for another baby, and another part that really likes sleeping through the night and working with my intellect. And I am 31, so it feels very early to me to shut down the possibility of having more babies. However, my husband is 7 years older than I am, and he's pretty happy with only 2. And so I go, back and forth! What a powerful post… I have been trying to work through a lot of thoughts and emotions on this topic over the past year or so. Am I done? Am I not done? There is a big part of me that yearns for another baby, and another part that really likes sleeping through the night and working with my intellect. And I am 31, so it feels very early to me to shut down the possibility of having more babies. However, my husband is 7 years older than I am, and he’s pretty happy with only 2. And so I go, back and forth!

]]> Comment on Attachment Village by Amber http://bluebirdmama.com/2012/03/attachment-village/comment-page-1/#comment-54048 Amber Thu, 15 Mar 2012 18:36:17 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=2089#comment-54048 I haven't read any of Dr. Mate's books - although "Hold on to Your Kids" has been on my list forever - but I recently interviewed Marcy Axness, author of Parenting for Peace. She had a lot of the same things to say. We need to work on our own issues, so that we can parent well. When we interfere with the instinctive attachment patterns of children, we cause stress and interfere with their development. And we need to provide them with good leadership. My conversation with Marcy Axness was revelatory for me. It's definitely changed the way I parent in a few ways. And it's had a positive impact on my family life. I haven’t read any of Dr. Mate’s books – although “Hold on to Your Kids” has been on my list forever – but I recently interviewed Marcy Axness, author of Parenting for Peace. She had a lot of the same things to say. We need to work on our own issues, so that we can parent well. When we interfere with the instinctive attachment patterns of children, we cause stress and interfere with their development. And we need to provide them with good leadership.

My conversation with Marcy Axness was revelatory for me. It’s definitely changed the way I parent in a few ways. And it’s had a positive impact on my family life.
Amber´s last post ..Eight Tips for Avoiding Toxins

]]> Comment on Weaning, Fertility and Moving On by Stacy @ Sweet Sky http://bluebirdmama.com/2012/02/weaning-fertility-and-moving-on/comment-page-1/#comment-51767 Stacy @ Sweet Sky Fri, 24 Feb 2012 04:21:54 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=2076#comment-51767 I still yearn, a little bit, for another child... yet I also am very settled in the feeling of not having any more children. I think you said it perfectly, here: "It seems unfair that I should still be at the mercy of the hormones that inspire babylust in us, that my body (from a biological, evolutionary standpoint) should still yearn for children, for more, when my mind has made the decision to move on." And it is not just my mind, but my situation... the nuclear family disaster my friend calls it. Having our second child really brought us to the limit emotionally, and while that continued what has been and continues to be an ultimately beautiful journey of growth, I sense that another child would likely bring too many challenges for us. If we had many other committed adults in our lives who were invested in our children, perhaps. Just the two of us? Not so much. :) Another aspect for me is age -- biological age but also life-stage. I had my first child at 33 and second at 36. Since 2010, I have been training to practice as a therapist. My husband is older than me and he felt more clear than I about not having more kids -- he was "feeling his age" he said. So... that is us... my urge for more kids is there, faintly, and it fades more each year. My youngest is now 5 1/2... Though I was just saying to my brother that we want to borrow his 2 year old so we can enjoy that pure super-cute little-kid-ness that is quickly being left behind in our family. The way they talk! and walk! :) I still yearn, a little bit, for another child… yet I also am very settled in the feeling of not having any more children. I think you said it perfectly, here: “It seems unfair that I should still be at the mercy of the hormones that inspire babylust in us, that my body (from a biological, evolutionary standpoint) should still yearn for children, for more, when my mind has made the decision to move on.”

And it is not just my mind, but my situation… the nuclear family disaster my friend calls it. Having our second child really brought us to the limit emotionally, and while that continued what has been and continues to be an ultimately beautiful journey of growth, I sense that another child would likely bring too many challenges for us. If we had many other committed adults in our lives who were invested in our children, perhaps. Just the two of us? Not so much. :)

Another aspect for me is age — biological age but also life-stage. I had my first child at 33 and second at 36. Since 2010, I have been training to practice as a therapist. My husband is older than me and he felt more clear than I about not having more kids — he was “feeling his age” he said.

So… that is us… my urge for more kids is there, faintly, and it fades more each year. My youngest is now 5 1/2… Though I was just saying to my brother that we want to borrow his 2 year old so we can enjoy that pure super-cute little-kid-ness that is quickly being left behind in our family. The way they talk! and walk! :)
Stacy @ Sweet Sky´s last post ..this moment: fresh air

]]> Comment on TV Guilt by Elaine Walker http://bluebirdmama.com/2011/09/tv-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-50976 Elaine Walker Fri, 17 Feb 2012 04:12:21 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=1937#comment-50976 A friend of mine with her step-daughter in struggled with this. She basically agreed with the Waldorf principles but had a hard time putting them into practice 100% at home because she was so busy with a baby, then toddler and had other things going on as well, as we all do. A friend of mine with her step-daughter in struggled with this. She basically agreed with the Waldorf principles but had a hard time putting them into practice 100% at home because she was so busy with a baby, then toddler and had other things going on as well, as we all do.
Elaine Walker´s last post ..Construction Machinery

]]> Comment on Making the Switch to Natural Toys by Jenna kreeger http://bluebirdmama.com/2011/11/making-the-switch-to-natural-toys/comment-page-1/#comment-49036 Jenna kreeger Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:40:49 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=2002#comment-49036 Great post! I had every intention of raising our son(8months) with natural, open-ended toys. Our families have spoiled him with beeping, plastic, one use only, toys. We ave a smaller home and Our living room is turning into Plasticland! I have a hard time returning someone's gift because it doesn't fall in our "Reggio inspired" home. We are very grateful for thoughtfulness but I'm considering saying "your presence is your present" for our sons first birthday, to avoid getting more plastic toys. Great post! I had every intention of raising our son(8months) with natural, open-ended toys. Our families have spoiled him with beeping, plastic, one use only, toys. We ave a smaller home and Our living room is turning into Plasticland! I have a hard time returning someone’s gift because it doesn’t fall in our “Reggio inspired” home. We are very grateful for thoughtfulness but I’m considering saying “your presence is your present” for our sons first birthday, to avoid getting more plastic toys.

]]> Comment on 2012 in a word by bluebirdmama http://bluebirdmama.com/2012/01/2012-in-a-word/comment-page-1/#comment-47872 bluebirdmama Tue, 17 Jan 2012 22:19:00 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=2036#comment-47872 Thank you. We are pretty stoked. And nervous. Thank you. We are pretty stoked. And nervous.

]]> Comment on Personal Space for Moms by Rebecka http://bluebirdmama.com/2011/10/personal-space-for-moms/comment-page-1/#comment-47777 Rebecka Tue, 17 Jan 2012 04:44:01 +0000 http://bluebirdmama.com/?p=1976#comment-47777 I didn't know how big I was on personal space until I had children. That concept of a mother becoming "touched out" and having nothing left for her partner, wanting nobody to touch her for a while-- that seemed bizarre. I find myself straddling the line. For me it's more the burden of constantly hefting one body or another, tensing my muscles to keep from compromising theirs... that drains me. But you're right- with every child I've adopted more of a difficult-to-phase stance with my parenting. The body fluids that I have to deal with- meh. They peed when they were in my womb, didn't they? That WAS milk in my body just a little while ago, wasn't it? An extension of my body. I have licked them. Nibbled them. Pulled up the hem of my shirt to wipe their noses when I had nothing else to use. They're mine. I love them. I didn’t know how big I was on personal space until I had children. That concept of a mother becoming “touched out” and having nothing left for her partner, wanting nobody to touch her for a while– that seemed bizarre. I find myself straddling the line. For me it’s more the burden of constantly hefting one body or another, tensing my muscles to keep from compromising theirs… that drains me. But you’re right- with every child I’ve adopted more of a difficult-to-phase stance with my parenting. The body fluids that I have to deal with- meh. They peed when they were in my womb, didn’t they? That WAS milk in my body just a little while ago, wasn’t it? An extension of my body.

I have licked them. Nibbled them. Pulled up the hem of my shirt to wipe their noses when I had nothing else to use. They’re mine. I love them.
Rebecka´s last post ..353/365

]]>